Life Is Precious

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Dear friends,

Six years ago, I took Patrick to the ER where he was then transferred by ambulance to Detroit because his oxygen was in the 50s. This was the beginning of his longest and final hospitalization, which ended with us bringing him home on palliative care. Although I have done so much better this year since doing my 31 Days of Patrick, all of the big anniversaries are now on my internal countdown as we head toward September.

As we struggle as a nation with COVID-19 and the over 100,000 lives lost, the loss of socialization and touch, the continued mistreatment and murder of black and brown bodies at the hands of police and the border patrol, the militarization of the police, the gassing and injuring of peaceful protesters to make a point or take a photo op, I want to remind you that life is precious. No one deserves to die. And no one—official or citizen—has the right to endanger the lives of others, whether by misusing force, ignoring science and social distancing measures, or making unreasonable or unlawful orders and demands.

None of us is promised tomorrow. And life feels so precarious to all of us for any number of reasons right now. So please—tell all your friends and family that you love them. Right now. And then, before doing anything else—speaking, acting, typing—take a deep breath. And when you next interact with someone, take no action until you can see the humanity in that person. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to agree with them. But you can make your point without yelling, spitting, embarrassing, humiliating, threatening, or otherwise dehumanizing the other person. We are all in this together, and we can lift each other up, or suffocate as we all fight each other to be the one on top.

Society only works when we work together. Many of us have lost our jobs—me included. Many of you are risking your lives, whether by taking care of others, making yourselves heard, or demanding justice. Almost every one of us in the US is being asked to make a sacrifice right now. How well we survive—both literally as bodies and figuratively as a country—will be determined by our willingness to give up looking out for #1 in the name of looking out for the least of us. The most important thing we can do right now is see—truly SEE—every single person as someone deserving of life, love, care, and compassion. Don’t talk about “them” or “they.” Don’t demonize with generalizations. Be precise with your words. Discuss. Debate. Protest. Be angry. But stop threatening each other. Stop using violence against unarmed citizens. Remember that every single person is loved by someone else. Every single person has someone who will grieve their loss. No life is unimportant. The old and sick are not disposable in the name of commerce. The young and healthy won’t remain that way forever. Give your workers the benefits you want to receive from your job. Be compassionate. Be caring. Be understanding. Help your neighbors. We can all survive this—all of this—if we work together for change. Change is never easy, but it’s absolutely necessary to our long- and short-term survival.

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Dear Fellow Whites,

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Learning the Hard Way