Emotional Improvement

A few weeks ago, I was working my way through one of the 50 books I've read so far this year, and I found myself somewhat overly emotionally-invested in a book. My chest hurt, and I was feeling all the feelings. When Phil or Mira would ask me a question, I had extreme difficulty returning to the real world and clearing my head to give them an answer. I also found myself tearing up and crying at various points.

After it happened with two books in a row, I mentioned it to Phil and expressed some concern about how I wasn't sure this was a good thing. "I've never done this before," I lamented. "Sure you did," Phil said. "Don't you remember when you refused to read any more books in that series because the girl married the wrong man?" He was right. It wasn't until my sister let me in on a secret I had missed because I failed to read the whole book that I went back and finished the book, felt better, and continued the series. But it had been forever ago. Heck, I really only returned to reading for pleasure five months ago.

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I was talking about it with my counselor a while later, and we agreed that it was actually a good sign. I had spent so much time making quick, life and death decisions, I had nothing left. The fact that I had started reading again, after being a television junkie, was the first sign I was improving because reading is a more active pursuit. The fact that I could get emotionally invested in characters was a good indicator that I had extra emotional energy to burn. My life no longer consumed every bit, so I had leftover I could invest in fictional characters. I was ultimately intrigued and amused that what I thought was a sign I was doing worse was actually an indicator was getting better.

Now, I still shy away from authors that I know don't do happy endings, and if a story is getting too emotional for me, I sometimes skip to the end to make sure I get a happy ending before I am willing to invest my time and energy further in the story. But, hey, progress is progress, and I'll take it!!