The Beauty is in the Mix

Earlier this week, Patrick's headstone arrived and was placed at his burial site.  Because we had opted to purchase a set of four plots for the family, we went ahead and got a family headstone, so our information sits on the side opposite Patrick's.  When we went to see it for the first time, Mira became very upset because she wasn't on it.  We tried to explain that we had not put her name on it because when she grew up, she might get married and want to be buried with her spouse.  She was adamant that she be included.  We told her we'd talk about it.

We talked and decided that we would get some matching frogs--one to leave at the cemetery, and one for her memory box.

In addition, we laminated a copy of our favorite picture of the two of them together and found a way to attach it to the stone so that she was part of the "family stone."

Today, when we were on our way to get the frogs, she asked again why we weren't putting her name on it.  I said we were waiting for her to make the final decision when she's older.  "I've decided.  I want to be on the family stone," she told me firmly.  I reiterated the plan, and she was momentarily placated by getting to shop.

This evening, on our way to the cemetery, Mira began to cry.  What she told us next broke our hearts:

I'm sad because I miss Bubba.  I was just about to get to start teaching him cool stuff like letters and counting when he died.  My heart is broken.  Bubba's heart was broken, too.  His heart had a piece of my, and my heart had a piece of his, and now they are both broken.  *points to picture*  That's a picture of when our hearts were together.

What a beautiful description of both the picture and her heartache.  She may not have as many words as an adult, but she has an amazing ability to use the words she does have to get right at the truth.

Even more beautiful--the flowers she placed on the headstone.  Together.  Like their hearts.  

Mira reminded me that every day is full of joy, grief, memory, love, pain, and sadness.  When I saw the final product--flowers, frog, sunshine, flowers, and monument, I was reminded that, if we look, the good and bad mix together to make a beautiful life.  We just have to remember to look.  

This is my beautiful reminder: