Anxious Waiting

*WARNING--not for the squeamish*

I don't even know where to begin.  Today was rough.  It started with my dream that I was having a miscarriage.  When I woke up and went to the restroom, I discovered lots of blood and some tissue.  After anxiously waiting for the fertility center to open, I called them and talked with a nurse.  By then the bleeding had slowed down to more like spotting and stopped entirely by 9:00.  The nurse calculated that it was too early to see anything by ultrasound, so they sent me for a blood test and said I would hear back this afternoon about the results and whether I needed to increase my meds.

I had the test at roughly 10:30.  Then I waited.

While I waited, I worked from home so that I would get the call whether they called my cell or my house.  I'm glad I did both--The working helped take my mind off of things but being at home helped me be more comfortable and cry when I needed to.  Still, as the day crept along and I heard nothing, I got more anxious.  I called and left a message with the nurse at 2:55.  I called again at 4:25. knowing the office closed at 4:30, but got put back into the nurse's mailbox.  Around 4:45 I finally got a call from a different, baffled nurse, indicating that she had my blood test results but wondering why I had gone.  I did my best not to cry too much as I explained everything again (Really?!  It wasn't in my chart?!).  It was the first time I have ever felt that the care I got there was less than 100%.  Let's hope it's the last.  Anyway, after I explained everything, she gave me my result: 931.

The good news--this is a good number.  It means my hCG levels have been doubling roughly every 2.7 days up until now.  The bad news--it doesn't tell them anything about today.  So, I have another beta test on Saturday to see if my numbers are still increasing properly after today's incident.  I'm also supposed to increase my progesterone.  So, now, all I can do is wait.  Anxiously.  On the plus side, I have never been happier to have a toddler to keep my mind off of the waiting.
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Dear Baby - Discernment