Dear Baby - Discernment

Dear Baby,

I don't know what the world will look like when you are old enough to start school.  However, even though we are a long way off from your formal education, I intend to teach you what I believe is one of the most important lessons people need and one that is rarely, if ever, taught.  Discernment.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...(Yes, your parents are geeks; you will suffer from this fact your entire life.  Sorry.).  Anyway, as I was saying, long ago, research was done at libraries using books and card catalog systems.  There were no blogs; no Wikipedia; no internet; no computers.  There was knowledge, but you had to go look for it.  With the above inventions, research became easier.  Access to all types of information opened up.  Virtually anyone from anywhere could have access to any information out there.  Which was wonderful.  Except that it also resulted in information overload.  Often, the important information became hard to find again because it was drowned out by nonsense and junk.  And, although people had gained access to lots of new information, no one taught them how to thoughtfully consider and weigh that information.  No one taught them how to cull through the morass of information to find what was relevant, accurate, or true.  There are times when people find a single source that says something they want to be true, and they will cite it.  News Flash!  Just because someone posts something on the internet, or prints it in a book or a newspaper, or says it on the television, does not make it true, or right, or good, or anything else.  You are going to have to learn to discern what is useful and helpful out of all the information that is thrown your way.  And it is my job, and privilege, to help you learn how to do that.

This does not mean that I am going to require you to agree with me.  I expect you to be your own individual  with your own opinions.  As your grandparents said about your father and your Aunt L, the worst thing they ever did was teach them to think for themselves; they have been trouble ever since.  I expect you to think for yourself.  But I will also expect you to be able to support your positions.  I expect that your uncle Dale will be most helpful in this regard and, when you are old enough to start reasoning, I imagine that he will take great delight in helping you hone that ability.

Furthermore, generally speaking, you will be able to expect the same of me.  When we are having discussions, I should be able to provide support for my positions.  But, even if you don't like or agree with my reasoning, you will still have to do what I say.  Contrary to popular belief, until you are 18, I am the boss of you because I am your parent and I am responsible for you.  In this vein, there will be times when what I say goes and the only support necessary for my position will be "Because I said so."  It will not be fair.  You will not like it.  But you will have to abide by it.  I have no doubt that this will cause much consternation and strife for you and your sister, similar to that caused to me and my siblings when our parents did it to us.  It will not change anything.  You will still have to do as I say.  But, I pledge to you that I will do my very best to use "because I said so" sparingly.  And, when its your home and your child, I give you permission to use it as much as you want.  Until then, know that whenever I say you must do something, it is said out of love.  Maybe frustration and anger, too.  But, always, rooted in love.

Love,
Mom