A Letter of Complaint

Dear Mr. Snow Miser,

I have never made any secret of my disdain for your specialties--snow, cold, ice, etc.  The only ice and cold I like are contained in beverages during summer.  Neverthelss, I am aware that I moved squarely into your territory a decade ago and, therefore, have been (not so quietly) tolerating your antics lo these many years.  However, this year is really testing my patience.  Whatever fight you and your brother, Mr. Heat Miser, have going on, it needs to stop.  It's not just the huge amont of snow, ice storms, and bitter cold that have me irritated (although, they are certainly high on my list of things I could do without).  Rather, it's these hugely radical shifts in temperature.  You two need to come to some kind of understanding.  I would put you on notice, but the truth is you would call my bluff.  I love my job, Phil loves his job, we love our community, and we have amazing care providers for two small children with unique medical issues.  Thus, the chances of us leaving, even if you don't stop, are minute.  Even so, I wish to register my complaint.  After all, if enough of us get upset, we might just get Santa to call your mother again!  Please, enough is enough.

Sincerely,

-One tired midwesterner